Yes boys and girls, there I am coolest guy around, with my own giant statue.
I rigged up wiring through the whole thing too! I can cut the lights on and off at will.
Here it is with the lights on, in the middle of a storm.
There I am, see the resemblance?
For those who think online games is just not your thing, I have you folk covered too; don't worry. Why, I've come up with a late or early, which ever you prefer, Christmas story!
NOTE: This story has no moral, it is intended as pure nonsense, nothing else.
A Christmas Story
about a Balloon
There once was a balloon, he lived in a big city.
Every day from when he was a wee little plastic sac, to when he was a full,err, “blown” balloon adult he wanted to see the thing “Christmas” that everyone talked about. So one day he concocted a scheme.
“ I'll puff myself up real pretty and try to get bought. When someone buys me I'll fly fly fly away, as fast as my big head will carry me! “ In his little airy balloon heart he knew it was wrong (I speak metaphorically of course, balloons have no hearts!) but he thought, he knew, he had to see Christmas!
As soon as the balloon-man came outside, he set his plan into motion. “ Mommeee, I want dat balloooon!” said a rather, ahem, large five-year old. His mother, fearing a tantrum quickly bought the scheming balloon. The balloon's scheme worked as planned, and even better. The kid let go of the balloon to point at another one of his many desires.
Up, Up, Up, went our light adventurer. He saw the wreaths hanging on the light poles. He saw the lights in the park. He saw the carolers. In his mind he knew that all these things were not Christmas.
“While I fly free I must know just one, one thing about Christmas!” The little balloon thought.
The little balloon was getting dangerously high. “The only way down is to lose a bit of my life. I must do it.” Our brave balloon decided. Down he went losing air rapidly. Finally, with a tiny bit of air left he could drift down without letting any air out. He drifted in between a big bunch of skyscrapers. A gentle wind blew the little balloon into a open window. He saw he was in a ragged room, and a tattered couch sat in the corner. Two people sat on the couch not noticing the small balloon. He heard them speaking. “ Mother, are you sure you want to do this? It is are last bit of food you know.” “ I know child, but we must be unselfish and give our food to someone who needs it more than us. Its Christmas, a time to be unselfish.”
The little balloon felt a pang of sadness, though he had learned one thing about Christmas. “ Here these poor people are giving away their last bit of food to someone who needs it more than them. Me, a balloon, meant to give a child joy, selfishly took myself away to fulfill my own desires.” He thought he felt a tear rolling down his face. The tears must have weighed him down because he drifted down and hit a kitchen knife. !POP!
What heart wrenching nonsense, I must leave you now readers, to, cry!